Healed

Transitions are not an easy thing. No one ever warned me about the difficult time i might have moving from college to "the real world" I wasn't informed and I had no idea that this transition would break my heart. One moment I have community around me 24/7 and the next I have lack of structure, lack of communication, and to be honest lack of friends. This whole moving back home to Tulsa has taken a toll (much like the turnpike) on me that for sure.

I'm finding myself to be the black sheep in the bunch. It's weird I fit in so well at Ozark, but here I'm different. I don't relate (I try but my friends just don't see it) and I'm just down. My spirit aches for friendship, deep spiritual companionship, and community.

I just happened to be with a dear friend of mine when I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown. We were driving out of the neighborhood to wal mart when my heart sank and the tears began to roll down my face. All i said was, "I'm so lonely." My friend let me vent, talk and explain how sad and heavy my heart was and how I desire love, community, and friendship. I told her I just wish life wasn't like this right now. My sweet friend pulled the car over in a neighborhood gave me a hug and cried with me. She didn't say anything except, "It kills me to know you are lonely, i'm so sorry." I never knew how this one act, a hug, could bring forth healing to my soul.

This experience reminds me of how Jesus healed people. With one touch he healed the bleeding woman, with spit and mud he healed the blind man. Many more stories in the Scriptures show that Jesus healed with touch (and faith of the people too). Jesus never said much to the people, he commanded them, touched them and they were healed.

So maybe you're in a position where you are surrounded by a lot of hurting people. Maybe these people are going through rather tough situations. Instead of listing ways to fix their problems, lean over, give them a hug and cry with them. Bring healing to their souls... it doesn't matter if you relate or not... a simple act can heal the deepest wounds.

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

I've been participating in an amazing "young women's" bible study. We have chosen the study by Beth Moore called, "A woman's heart, God's dwelling place" and while at first i had my doubts and critiques I have come to realize that i have learned so much from this study. Beth is taking us through the the Old Testament and the Tabernacle and it's importance and how we can apply it to our daily lives. This past week we were studying the Alter of Incense and the Basin Laver. This may seem boring to you but it's incredible to see how God used particular tasks and sacrifices to bring about atonement and glory.

The Basin Laver was an interesting study. I learned that this was made out of the wealthy women's mirrors. So when the priests went in to wash their hands and feet they had to look at themselves in the mirror. The reason for this is so they could become right with God. I thought this was so cool because I really struggle with admitting my sin and bringing up who i am to God. Usually I just pray, "God forgive me of my sins" and move on. But what i realized is this is not what God wants from us. He wants us to look at ourselves, acknowledge our sin, and have sorrow for our sin so that we might change.

Even after studying this I found myself praying the same prayer over again. It is so hard to acknowledge my sin and to look at who I am when i'm sinning. Then I realized that I haven't been sorrowful over my sin in a months. I haven't wept during a prayer over my sin for a long long time. And you know what? I need too. Communicating with God and explaining to him why i do things not only helps prevent me from repeating old habits but it also deepens my relationship with God and helps me hear the Holy Spirit.

So, when you enter your tabernacle this week, make sure you take a look in the mirror. God desires open communication about every part of our lives, even sin. Jesus bore that sin when he was crucified on the cross... the least we can do is admit the wrongs we have done.

As Beth would say, "Go in peace beloved ones..."

(I really love Beth Moore and all of here little sayings, especially her Arkansas twang...)

Blog Design Help.

Here's the deal, I need help updating the style of my blog. I want the birds gone... I can't figure it out! Can anyone help me???? Oh please oh please oh please!!!!

Boom!

Hey friends! Well as exciting as my life is, I thought it was time to update you on a few things.

1. I'm still single.
2. I'm still jobless.
3. This makes me very much available.


Okay okay, enough of that. Next Thursday (the 17th) I will get the opportunity to present my internship for Mountain. During this time I will tell them how this will not only benefit me, my home church, Mountain CC, but also the Kingdom. I'm trying to raise $15,300. I'm praying that my church will be my main supporter, not only financially but also through prayer. Please join me this next week in asking for God's favor and guidance in the provision of my funds so that I can go to Maryland and learn about "Glocal" ministry.

If you would like to look at Mountian's website it is mountainchristian.org --- not only is their missions program incredible but so is the history of their church and the other incredible ministries being produced from their church.

Well, Blessings to you this week!

Kinseymac


In the meantime I'll be smelling the flowers...

home is where the heart is.

Currently I'm reflecting on the places that i call home. Sometimes when you're in a state of boredom and loneliness you remember how much God has blessed you in the past. It's good to remember where you've come from. It's good to be excited to see where you'll go. So while I await the future i'll remember the tough times, the good times, the bad times, and the provision that God has blessed me with and refined me in through the past, but i'll remember to live in the present because even though this time seems mundane and boring God is teaching me daily and allowing me to spend time resting in the arms of my family.

battlefield

To all of my prayer warriors it's time to get your prayers on. I've been talking with Mountain Christian Church (in Maryland) about my internship. I've figured up my budget and I need to raise about $15,000. It's going to cost me around $1275 to pay my bills a month.

So I'm beginning my first stage of support, PRAYER. I need prayer, all the prayer i can get. Currently i'm jobless but tomorrow I have an interview at a daycare, please pray that this goes well. It's full time and I can use this 3 month salary to help support myself. Secondly I need prayer that God will guide me, that he will show me the way and help me with all of the logistics. Figuring up health and car insurance is confusing stuff. Also, pray that churches will find favor with me. This internship will be such an incredible learning opportunity. My internship is under the "glocal" minister. This means that I will be working with global and local ministries, missionaries, and such. This is my passion and I'm so excited about it. The reason I'm so excited about it is because churches need missions ministers. The church is called to reach the unreached and I want to educate and help the church fulfill the great commission.

All of this to say, I'm starting to get really excited about all of this. I think it'll be a great opportunity. It's going to be a lot of stress and hard work getting up there but if God wills it, it'll all fall into place.

Thank you for your prayers.

P.S. the goal is to have me out there... SEPTEMBER 1... EEK!