LOUD AND CLEAR

I've been slightly annoyed as of late. It seems that every conversation i have with an acquaintance or underclassman goes like this:

person - "Kinsey, Are you ready to graduate?"
me- "No, actually I'm pretty sad, but it is exciting..."
person - "OMG, it's so exciting! What are you going to do with your life?"
me - "Well, I'm moving back home. I'm trying to get an internship but it isn't looking to promising..." (cue awkwardness...)

Wow, doesn't that conversation look depressing. Why am I not excited to graduate? Why is it that after 4 years of insanely hard work I'm sad, verging on depression, and crying at the drop of a hat?

In less than 2 weeks my life is going to change. My structure is going to be gone. I'll be going home to a community of weak believers and i'll be jobless. I'm completely dependent on my parents and vulnerable. I don't have a job, or any plans... and all i really want to do is be a summer bum, get tan, and hang out with my friends. However that is not going to happen. But let's start getting positive. This summer i'm going to read, learn, and pray. I'm going to search for where God is leading me and hopefully he'll be using me and guiding me. It's actually quite exciting. And hey, maybe i'll find a really cool job?? If i've learned anything it's that God is faithful...

I love my friends... A lot. My friends have become my family and I care for them deeply. We all have the same passions and desires and it's easy to talk, have fun, relax, and just be ourselves around each other. My friends are so incredibly wonderful. God has truly blessed me with the people who are in my life.

It's really going to suck saying goodbye. I am absolutely dreading it. Everything is going to change. Yes, friendships will still remain but it's going to be weird. I mean, next year half my friends could be engaged or married even. It's weird to think their lives will continue to move on without me being tangibly close to them. It also sucks because this is the last time I'll ever get to have this type of community... But you know what? I think life gets better.

My hope is that my friends will stay near and dear to the heart of Jesus, I can't wait to have a reunion with them in heaven... we're going to party like its... 2010.

Here come the infamous mother teresa quote section. I think this will be my "life quote" for the next year.

"God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try"

I love this. It forces me to step out of my comfort zone, trust God, and well... have an adventure.