Paving the way

I'm officially a graduate of Ozark Christian College! We had an amazing commencement service on Saturday. To me it felt more like a commissioning service, sending us out to reach the nations. I was encouraged and filled with joy, pride, love, and admiration. I was so excited to know that I went to such an amazing and supportive school where my professors pray for not only me but all of the students... by name.

I said goodbye to some of my closest and dearest friends. Some i'll see in a few months, others in a year or two. I also said goodbye to my home of 4 years. It's so strange to think that I'm no longer a student at Ozark and that I'll never be moving back into the dorm (that is unless I become a dorm parent... haha!) I came to this realization when my mom pulled into our driveway and we started unloading all of my belongings. And then it came... emotional breakdown. I just started bawling. My sweet mom just asked what i needed and tried to calm me down. I guess it's just a process (at least for me).

Here's the thing, I have to keep a positive attitude. I have to realize that it's my time to give back. So many people have been investing in me and now it's my time to show them what God has done in me. I received a really awesome note on graduation day from my friend Connor. He gave me a new perspective and it read this, "I know it may seem like you're leaving a lot behind, but you're not. you're just paving the way until the rest of us can join you in the real world; and frankly, I can't think of a better person for the job that you." It's true. Eventually all of my friends will leave Ozark and move on with their lives. It's exciting to think of all the possible connections that i'll have in the future and the possibility of working with some of my friends in ministry. I'm excited to see how God works in the lives of the ones I call family. What an amazing adventure ahead of me (us).

I thought I'd post a few pictures of the day


Connor thanks for the encouraging words!


Benny Bear thanks for teaching me about useless "modes" of music


Andy Pants thanks for always make me tea!


David thanks for being an amazing friend and brother!


To my girls Molly, Morgan, and Jess thank you for being amazing friends, sisters, and prayer warriors.


Dave and Charlie, Thank you for showing me true unconditional friendship. Thank you for teaching me the art of nertz and blogging. You guys are great.


And a final Group photo!

knock knock, who's there?

It's so surreal. I never actually thought graduation day would come. But here it is! 2 days away. Tomorrow we have baccalaureate and then saturday is the BIG day! GRADUATION! I can't believe it. You know, when I was a senior in high school I never thought about being a senior in college I guess my mind just didn't fast forward that much. It's really funny because everyone always seems to be surprised when they find out you go to a Bible college and at times I get on a high horse about it. Yeah, I go to Ozark... I'm super spiritual and sacrificial... Oh wow! How prideful i can be! However, I never thought of what would happen after graduation. Everything i've been studying for, for 4 years has come to an end. Now I'm expected to go out and serve God. And you know what.... I actually want to. It's completely terrifying and it isn't easy finding a place to serve either. I'm nervous to say the least. It feels like finding a job at a church is going to be a long, bumpy, blurry road ahead of me. It's imperative that i remember God's faithfulness... he has been teaching me his faithfulness for a year on purpose (I do believe...).

These college years have been pretty selfish. Everything has been centered around me. Money, study, and friendships... even serving. Yes, these acts have glorified God but they were pretty selfish and self centered. But now it's my time to give back. It's now time to let God do the choosing and the sending and the guiding. Often times we hear the phrase "God will open up a door" and many times we are selfish in our thinking and believe that God is opening up that door for our needs but have you ever thought about the person on the other side of the door? People are out there waiting to hear the Gospel. Maybe for the first time or maybe in a different light. Whatever the reason God is placing me, you, and my dear graduates in doorways of people who need a little nudge of love in the right direction. It excites me to think about who might be waiting on the other side of the door. I'm excited to see who my friends open the door to too.

So I leave you with this thought,

"When one door opens, sometimes it's for the person on the other side..." --- Chris DeWelt

Go on, open the door... remember how exciting it was to watch the doors open on Reading Rainbow? Well, I guess life is kinda like that... now go see what's on the other side.

Just call me Aunt Kinsey!

I would like to officially welcome by baby niece Rachel Lynn McMillan to the world!

She was born this morning around 5am weighing in at 6lbs 5 oz, 20.5 inches long! She's extremely beautiful and I can't wait to meet her. It's an incredible feeling to have your siblings child enter the world. It's unlike anything i've ever felt. I'm so overwhelmed with joy and I'm so excited to be an Aunt!

LOUD AND CLEAR

I've been slightly annoyed as of late. It seems that every conversation i have with an acquaintance or underclassman goes like this:

person - "Kinsey, Are you ready to graduate?"
me- "No, actually I'm pretty sad, but it is exciting..."
person - "OMG, it's so exciting! What are you going to do with your life?"
me - "Well, I'm moving back home. I'm trying to get an internship but it isn't looking to promising..." (cue awkwardness...)

Wow, doesn't that conversation look depressing. Why am I not excited to graduate? Why is it that after 4 years of insanely hard work I'm sad, verging on depression, and crying at the drop of a hat?

In less than 2 weeks my life is going to change. My structure is going to be gone. I'll be going home to a community of weak believers and i'll be jobless. I'm completely dependent on my parents and vulnerable. I don't have a job, or any plans... and all i really want to do is be a summer bum, get tan, and hang out with my friends. However that is not going to happen. But let's start getting positive. This summer i'm going to read, learn, and pray. I'm going to search for where God is leading me and hopefully he'll be using me and guiding me. It's actually quite exciting. And hey, maybe i'll find a really cool job?? If i've learned anything it's that God is faithful...

I love my friends... A lot. My friends have become my family and I care for them deeply. We all have the same passions and desires and it's easy to talk, have fun, relax, and just be ourselves around each other. My friends are so incredibly wonderful. God has truly blessed me with the people who are in my life.

It's really going to suck saying goodbye. I am absolutely dreading it. Everything is going to change. Yes, friendships will still remain but it's going to be weird. I mean, next year half my friends could be engaged or married even. It's weird to think their lives will continue to move on without me being tangibly close to them. It also sucks because this is the last time I'll ever get to have this type of community... But you know what? I think life gets better.

My hope is that my friends will stay near and dear to the heart of Jesus, I can't wait to have a reunion with them in heaven... we're going to party like its... 2010.

Here come the infamous mother teresa quote section. I think this will be my "life quote" for the next year.

"God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try"

I love this. It forces me to step out of my comfort zone, trust God, and well... have an adventure.