Came home today. By home I mean, HOME! I'm in Oklahoma for the Thanksgiving holiday and my heart could not be filled with more joy.
I walked off the airplane, through the terminal, and saw familiarity and my momma. Tears welled up in my eyes and I was so happy to be home.
I've come to a realization. I don't like Maryland. This sentence is more complex than it appears. I don't like Maryland. What I do like about Maryland: My job, the scenery, co-workers, my 3 friends. My realization is that I do not like Maryland because when I'm in Maryland I cannot escape loneliness. Loneliness never leaves me (so how am I lonely it it never leaves me alone?), I do not have any emotional connection with Maryland and to be honest I'm ready to come home. The only thing that continues to drive me forward is the fact that I'm learning. I'm learning so much, but is that enough? I don't know how long I'll last. I guess this is another lesson from God about perseverance and faith. I have to last. I want to last.
Please pray for me if you think about it. Come next tuesday I'm going to be very sad, possibly bitter, and not ready to go "home." (I shutter to even call Maryland home...)
What does the Lord have in store for me next? It really doesn't matter, I need to focus on today because today has enough worries of it's own...
- Kinsey
Hey girl- I am praying for you... remember--- as I remember as well... that through our trial we develope perserverance and with perserverance faith! He will pull you through this. I know this sounds crazy but when I moved back to NY after 6 yrs of being away... I felt so alone, not close to my old friends and everything not close to family... but with time it did get easier... i promise! Hey and also if you ever have a long weekend or anything and want a break come up our way. We will take u sight seeing and have a blast! I would love to see you as well!!! We are buying a house now, so we will even have a guest room! Let me know hun... but in the meantime I am praying for you!
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