Convictions of a drama queen

As of late I have had a lot of convictions. I don't know who is praying for me but I am so blessed. Currently God is rocking my world. I feel the Holy Spirit and I can hear him so clearly. My hearts desire is to be like Jesus and with every word that I say I either a) think about it before I say it b) keep my mouth shut or c) regret it and take it back...

God is working in me and I hope to be a truly transformed person. I know that it takes time, but i'm already noticing changes in myself. Also, I have this problem of being overly observant. I notice what people look like, wear, act, say... it's bad... I notice everything. Because I notice these things many times I point them out to my friends and crack a joke. Praise God for my friends who tell me to shut up and be nice because there are times when I don't even think I'm doing anything wrong!

I also believe that God is changing me because I was challenged in class to pray this prayer, "Lord be ruthless with me in revealing my selfish ambition and my lack of willingness to die to myself." I've been praying this prayer daily and although it is hard to be refined by God it is wonderful to know that I am being made new.

There has also been another helpful thought that i can not get out of my head. 1 Corinthians 13. Francis Chan writes in his book "Crazy Love" to replace "love" with your name and read the text. Am i these things?

Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To some degree I hold a few of these qualities but not all of them. In these verses all I see is Jesus. He is all of these things and I desire to be like him. I can't get these characteristics and qualities out of my mind. When I think about someone I say, "Kinsey is not rude" or "Kinsey does not envy" and "Kinsey is patient"... I've been quiet for a few days and i'm glad. It's time for a change... a transformation.

I'll leave you with a quote from Mother Teresa.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echos are truly endless."

- Kinsey

P.S. I have an interview with John Brown on Monday. If you think about it, say a little prayer for me. If I get the job it pays for my tuition and it would be a really wonderful blessing.

Silence is Golden

"We need silence to be alone with God, to speak to him, to listen to him, to ponder his words deep in our hearts. We need to be alone with God in silence to be renewed and transformed. Silence give us a new outlook on life. In it we are filled with the energy of God himself that makes us do all things with joy."

A little thing called Love...

As most of you know (and should know) Valentines day is approaching. Generally speaking I hate Valentines day. Mostly because I'm jealous of everyone who is in love. I know it's wrong but it's the truth. Anyway, I remembered that i must remain faithful to my series of blog postings about Mother Teresa and her quotes. I was really hoping for something different but somehow (fate?) Mother Teresa's quote fits perfectly in with the month of February.

She says, "Love is like a fruit in season at all times. Love can warm three winter months."

At first glance i didn't really understand what Mother T was saying. Can warm three months? What does that mean? And while I attempt to think this late at night the only vision in my mind are the homeless men who stand on 7th street in Joplin begging. Which brings me to another thought. These last few days it has been brutally cold. As I was walking down to my dorm my friend said, "Gosh, it must suck to be homeless" I replied, "EW don't say that" because I honestly couldn't hold the thought in my mind. I didn't want to imagine people sleeping in the cold and having no place to call home.


So what does love have to do with these thoughts? Well, I'm not exactly sure. But I do know that Mother Teresa reached out to the poorest of the poor. And I know that there are a lot of homeless ministries in Joplin and the winter months are some of the hardest so the next time I have an extra few bucks maybe I can buy a blanket or donate to these ministries and help keep someone warm.

Here is an additional thought. Love is like a fruit in season at all times. When you spread love not only do you continue to love others but those people continue to love others and it's like this big seed that started out small and with one apple and turned into an orchard.

What do you think about this quote?